Honey, I would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick…

Lazy and uninspired again tonight, sigh. Went to therapy for the third session this evening, I think it’s a huge waste of my time and probably the therapists, though she is getting paid for it.  My assignment for next week is to come up with a list of reasons why I’m going to therapy and some issues to work on in future sessions. I think that was a polite way of saying why the fuck are you here? So far I’ve learned that my partner and I have good communication skills and that I had a good childhood that isn’t fucking with my head. I already knew these things…

So instead of doing anything remotely productive I present you with quotes from one of my idols, Karen Walker from Will and Grace – and the only reason she came to mind is because I saw some of her quotes on another  blog  the other day. She made the show and never failed to make me laugh.

• Oh kids ruin everything. I mean look at the stitching on this. You cannot trust a ten year old to do a good hidden button.
• [to Rosario]: Uh, okay. I don’t know what you people do in Costa-Guata-Mexi-Rico… But here in America, we don’t eat birds.
• Good Lord. I can’t believe I’m at a public pool. Why doesn’t somebody just pee directly on me?
• Oh honey, I would, but… I don’t want to.
• By your inflection I can tell that you think what you’re saying is funny, but… No.
• They’re trying to make gay people straight? Good Lord! Don’t they know what that’ll do to the fall line?
• Gosh, I just love gambling here in Vegas. Sure, I may lose $100,000 but the drinks are free so it evens out!
• Oh honey, I love you like the mother I had committed.
• You know what else is sad? Poor people who have dreams. [pause] Well that’s not sad as much as it is extremely funny.
• Sorry I’m late. Oh God, that sounded insincere… I’m late.
• You say potato, I say vodka.
• Martini, honey and don’t waste any space with those olives!
• Oh, for Gods sake, its just the four of us. Grab a bottle, hunker down, and pray for daylight.
• I’m sorry; you must have mistaken me for someone else. My name is Anastasia Beaverhousen.
• Honey, you’re simple, you’re shallow, & you’re a common whore, that’s why we are soul mates.
• It’s not something you can just run away from like a hotel bill or a crying baby.