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13 Ways to Know You’re Gay Before You’re 13
Posted by Chris on 7 August, 2008
How is it that it’s Thursday again? Remember when you were a kid and summer vacation seemed to last for 87 weeks? Remember when the last two weeks before Christmas stretched out into an eternity? I just want to know how the hell every other day seems to now be a Thursday. Though on the upside that means tomorrow is Friday, so I suppose it’s not all bad.
This Thursday we once again will be delving into another of my reader selected lists for the outrageous Thursday 13 meme. In previous weeks we have discovered how to spot a gay and what not to shove up our butts. In the spirit of these previous gems and with the desire to provide a community service for baby gays, I now present you with the 13 ways to know you’re gay before you’re 13.
Have a list of 13 things rolling around in your head and feel the desire to get them out for the world to see? Well have I got the meme for you, come join in the fun over at the Thursday 13 meme hub, put your link in the comments and watch your traffic explode. (traffic results not typical or guaranteed)
13 Ways to Know You’re Gay Before You’re 13
- When you’re wrestling in P.E. with your male classmates your naughty parts get all engorged and tingly (aka you pop wood)
- When the mail includes a clothing catalog you grab it and flip immediately to the male underwear section
- International Male sends you a copy of their clothing and underwear catalogs ~ they know before you do in most cases
- Instead of playing with toy soldiers and race cars you prefer to read or spend quiet time alone with your thoughts
- You really suck at team sports, but there’s just something about that locker room camaraderie that excites you
- Musicals and “chick flicks” are your favorite types of movies
- When you see a hot guy and gal making out you’re not entirely sure if you want to make out with her yourself or if you’d rather be her
- You have lots of friends, but most of them are girls
- You have a close and devoted relationship with your mother
- You begin cleaning the pipes before there is anything in them and your spank bank is full of your buddies on the football team
- Walking into a men’s locker room and getting a whiff of that smell makes you pop wood
- You don’t see anything odd about grooving to dance music
- You’re artistic and sensitive and not afraid to act upon either talent
maggies mind said
“A community service for baby gays,” hahahaha. Scarily, some of these appear to actually be kind of true, which makes it even that much more fun of a list.
Jen said
Love it! This reminded me of something in David Sedaris’ Me Talk Pretty One Day: When asked what we wanted to be when we grew up, we hid the truth and listed who we wanted to sleep with when we grew up. “A policeman or a fireman or one of those guys who works with high-tension wires.”
cajunvegan said
Does spewing in your wicked step-monster’s brand new dish towel fit anywhere in here, or is my Monkey Boy just grosser than gross?
Jeni said
My youngest brother is 17 now, but displayed all those signs before he was 13. He came out to me at 14. The deal was sealed when he said “I’m a Moulin Rouge kind of guy”.
Tink said
I can’t relate to it personally, but I liked reading your list. True or not, your writing makes it funny too!
Thanks for visiting my Olympics TT.
avitable said
Hmmm. 4, 8, and 9 seem to be something that would have applied to a young Avitable.
The Gal Herself said
Ah, #12! So it’s a lifelong devotion to dance music that begins in the formative “baby gay” days? I suspect that neither Madonna nor Cher would have careers if it wasn’t for gays and #12. (Thanks for visiting my TT)
Michelle said
Great TT. Very cute and funny. As always an enjoyable read. Happy TT and thanks for stopping by my place.
opengroveclaudia said
It’s funny. I tend to comment after Avitable and we tend to say the same thing…. I think it’s interesting how this stuff gets categorized as “gay” when it’s just a spectrum of male. In my opinion, gay men are men first. But that’s just me.
Good for you for putting yourself out there. That takes a lot of courage.
Chris said
Maggie ~ I won’t say which, but a few of these came from personal experience
Jen ~ mmmm high tension wire man!
Cajunvegan ~ unfortunately your Monkey Boy is just grosser than gross. Your typical baby gay would “deposit” anywhere he thought his mother wouldn’t find it
Jeni ~ who wouldn’t be a Moulin Rouge kinda guy when there’s Ewan McGregor involved?
Tink ~ thanks!
Avitable ~ well I always wondered about you…
The Gal ~ without the gays Madonna & Cher would have been one hit wonders
Michelle ~ thanks!
Opengroveclaudia ~ I agree I’m male first gay second
poppingbubbles said
I could have used this as a checklist for one of my junior high best friends. He finally came out to me our sophomore year in high school and was very surprised that I wasn’t shocked!
Thanks for making me laugh…AGAIN! I pimped you on my blog this week.
Christopher said
I knew I was Gay from the time I was a little boy.
I remember always enjoying a “peak” at a man’s cock in a public bathroom. Airports, train terminals and department stores always provided a glimpse at what would become my adult passion: cock.
My step-father subscribed to Playboy and all those pictures of nekkid jugs left me cold. They might as well been pictures of lawn mowers. Yawn.
Across the street from the house I grew up in, lived twin brothers about 10 years older than me. They were smokin hot, with swimmers bodies, ripped stomachs and always tanned and running around in skimpy shorts and no underwear. I remember it being a good day when they invited me over to swim with them and it was like watching a lite-porn movie.
YvesPaul said
Wow, this brings back so many old memories…
Helen said
Just like to say that this is the BEST TT list I have EVER come across!!
I will be back!
Chris said
Poppingbubbles ~ a lot of people I came out to weren’t shocked, it kind of annoyed me too. Thanks for pimping me out!
Christopher ~ most of us did know at an early age, kind of puts to rest that learned behavior thing since my dad wasn’t smoking pole…
YvesPaul ~ glad to bring back the past, hope it was good memories
Helen ~ you are too kind, but THANKS!
Tracy Lynn said
Yeah, I can’t remember the last time I ‘popped wood’.
kyle said
ding ding ding. we have a winner. almost all of those rang true for me.
Chris said
Tracy Lynn ~ sounds like the surgery was a success then?
Kyle ~ I was channeling you when I wrote that.
Poppy said
“Pop wood,” *giggle*
Chris said
Poppy ~ quit saying it like that I’m getting distracted
Jackie said
Great TT!
Jackie said
Oops sorry….. typo in my original comment.
Just wanted to say hi and great TT
Northwest said
As the one who suggested this TT (I think), I feel horrible I did not read it until today. But glad I did… made me realize how many ways in which I was gay “inside” growing up, yet couldn’t see it. Like most of your 13 items I could relate to, but only just now realized it.
Chris said
NW ~ I think you did suggest this and it was a fun list.