Insert witty title here.

More random, unnecessary information. Stolen from Cajunvegan…

• How many keys are on your keychain?
  3 ~ key to slave’s collar, key to his chastity belt and key to the dungeon door
• If you were given a canvas and watercolors, what would you paint?
  A blob that may or may not resemble someone’s genetalia
• What do you regard as the most repulsive form of music?
  The sound of cats fighting
• Whose mind, besides your own, would you like to control?
  Have you never read my blog before, I want to control the minds of the entire world
• What is the most dangerous occupation?
  Hooker to the members of the Republican Convention
• What is the first thing you do when you get out of bed?
  Kick whomever I screwed last night out the door
• What do you consider the greatest threat to mankind?
  Republicans, asteroids and rogue aliens
• If you could project yourself into the past, where would you go?
  To the day Issac Newton was born so that I could kill him and he wouldn’t discover gravity. I hate gravity
• What are you thankful you are not doing right now?
  Having oral sex with Rosanne Barr
• What is your favorite kind of candy?
  The kind I get only from strangers
• What is your favorite thing about the beach?
  Seeing really hairy guys in speedos
• If you were invisible, where would you go?
  To the White House to see who is really running the country
• What is one object in your home that you are embarrassed to own?
  My life sized, anatomically correct statue of Ryan Seacrest
• Fill in the blank; When I dance, I look like …
  A retard having an epileptic fit after drinking a quart of draino
• Who is one person you wish you would have never met?
  Most everyone I know
• What is your favorite fruit?
  George Michael
• What is your favorite kind of cookie?
  Doggy biscuits
• If you were an evil dictator, where would you rule?
  Infinity and beyond
• What do you need to get right now at the drug store?
  Condoms and lube and penicillin
• What song do you keep hearing over and over again?
  Pop goes the weasel
• What was the happiest age of your life?
  Once I discovered my secret super powers life has been grand
• What is your favorite piece of clothing that you own?
  My bulletproof jockstrap
• What two words describe your lifestyle?
  Hedonistic & Drunken
• Which ocean creature fascinates you most?
  Neptune, god of the sea
• On a scale of 1-10, how religious are you?
  -387 ~ I burn bibles and spit on crosses
• What historical figure would you most like to have a discussion with?
  Ebeneezer Scrooge, he’s my fucking idol
• What color looks best on you?
  Green, the color of money baby
• What is your favorite thing about being sick?
  Making everyone my bitch
• What’s new?
  This rash on my left nut, hope it goes away soon
• Why are you here right now?
  Killing time before my next lay
• What commercial do you find most annoying?
  Any commercial for Pepsi, Pepsi killed my dog
• What was your favorite meal growing up?
  Any meal that didn’t consist entirely of boiled cabbage
• If you had to spend the rest of your life in one place, where would it be?
  Patrick Dempsey’s bedroom
• Fill in the blank: I am so much smarter than …
  every other living being
• What one person or thing reminds you of the 80s?
  sex without condoms
• What is college really good for?
  Learning how to stay drunk for 72 hours and how to rid yourself of STDs
• Where is the most beautiful place you have ever been?
  Patrick Dempsey’s ass or Eric Dane’s chest
• What body part aches you the most right now?
  My nads, haven’t cleaned the pipes in almost an hour
• When is the angriest you have ever been?
  That one time at band camp when the condom broke
• What do you waste your time doing?
  Talking to ugly people
• On a scale of 1-10; how much do you trust people?
  1 ~ trust no one but yourself
• If you were forced to choose your own death, how would you die?
  From a heart attack during an orgy
• On a scale of 1-10; how photogenic are you?
  1 ~ camera lenses shatter when I enter the room
• What aspect of your personality could use a little work?
  What the fuck, I don’t have flaws
• What is your greatest addiction?
  It’s only an addiction if you admit you have a problem, I don’t have a problem
• What issue are you sick of hearing about?
  Back to school sales
• If you were a professional wrestler, what would your ring name be?
  I am a professional wrestler, but I’m undercover and can’t divulge my ring name
• What language would you like to master?
  The language of love
• What is your favorite dish at a Chinese restaurant?
  Sweet and sour dog
• Whom would you least likely expect a phone call from?
  Jeebus, if he exists I doubt he knows how to use a phone
• What is the longest you have ever gone without a shower?
  During that week long orgy we couldn’t stop for stupid things like showers
• What is the saddest movie you have ever seen?
  Top Gun
• What time do you usually fall asleep?
  When the bed stops spinning
• Where is the worst place to be stuck waiting?
  Outside the liquor store 5 minutes after closing time
• What is the cutest animal on Earth?
  The Tasmanian devil
• Name one celebrity who has no right being a celebrity.
  John Doe
• What hobby have you always wanted to pick up?
  52 card pickup