13 Things You Should Know About the Queer Pride Weekend

It’s the last week of June and that means I need to continue on in my all queer themed posts for June Thursday 13s.  I’m glad it’s the last week of my self-imposed theme because I don’t like being told what to do, even when it’s me doing the telling.  The other day I posted looking for ideas for this final list of 13.

The comments I got were great and you can count on seeing some of the suggested lists in the future.  Some of the suggestions might lead to larger posts as well.  Thanks to everyone who left suggestions in the comments, I really appreciate it.

If you want to play along in the fun and sometimes amusing Thursday 13 meme, create a list of 13 items and place your link in the comments over at the website.  The pain associated with creating your list usually subsides after a week or two and rarely does anyone experience any real physical damage due to participation.

This week we’ll take a look at 13 things you should know about the Queer Pride weekend:

1. The parade might be on Sunday, but the celebration and the drinking begins on Friday, don’t expect to find parking or a cab anywhere near any of the bars or restaurants in the gay ghetto.
2. Hangovers only occur if you stop drinking, therefore once you start Friday night don’t sober up until Monday morning.
3. Take the day off on the Monday following Pride.  Trust me, you’ll have a lot more fun if you don’t have to worry about showing up to work hungover or still drunk.
4. Learn the name of your trick before your friends pick you up the next morning.  A casual friend was being picked up for the parade a few years ago by some friends.  When she went to the door she had to introduce her trick from the night before and had no idea what his name was. Yes, I do know straight people, though she went dyke soon thereafter.
5. Drinking at 9am on Sunday is not only allowed, it’s encouraged.
6. Dykes on Bikes always lead the parade, they’re sexy and loud and great fun.  They also happen to be topless to a large extent.
7. There will be some candy thrown at the crowds, as there is at any parade.  However, much more prevalent, will be condoms, lube packets and dental dams.  Use them!
8. When the fire truck rolls by it will contain only firedykes, hot as they are, we want some firefags one of these years.
9. The Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence will put in an appearance and they’ll show you just how naughty boys and girls should be treated.
10. If you’re so drunk you can’t sit on the curb without falling into the gutter make sure you have some good friends who will pour your ass into a cab and give the driver your real home address.
11. There will be young, tan, muscular boys gyrating in jockstraps on floats – prepare yourself ahead of time with your camera and your bib.
12. Every local liberal politician that wants votes will march in the parade and be at the pride festival after the parade to suck up.
13. Enjoy yourself, Queer Pride is about being yourself and having fun.  Seriously if all you want to do is wave signs that tell us we’re going to hell you should just stay home, it doesn’t worry us nearly as much as you’d like it to.