13 items on the Gay Agenda that will earn you reward points

It’s Thursday once again and not only does that mean that this week is almost over, but it’s once again time for the fabulous Thursday 13. If you’re not playing along, you’re not living so go right ahead and buy that burial plot now.

Everyone knows that there’s a gay agenda and that it’s full of our devious plans to overtake the world. What many people don’t realize is that there is also a rewards program for accomplishing specific agenda related tasks. The rewards are provided by the gay mafia and range from free interior decorating to month long tropical vacations. Though I fear for my life in disclosing this, I must pass along at least a partial list of the rewards program. If the gay mafia is going to sink me in the Hudson at least I can rest assured that my cement shoes will match my belt. (Disclaimer ~ this is the rewards program for gay men, I am not allowed to see the lesbian’s list.)

1. Wear a gay t-shirt to the grocery store outside the gay ghetto ~ 5 pts
2. Hold hands with and kiss a same-sex partner in the grocery store outside the gay ghetto ~ 10 pts
3. Place a pro-gay children’s book in the local elementary school ~ 25 pts
4. Write a pro-gay, anti-religion letter to your local newspaper editor ~ 50 pts
5. Leave gay porn in your neighbor’s mailbox ~ 100 pts
6. Stand around in the locker room at the gym and stare at other guy’s junk ~ 250 pts
7. Write “Call for a Good Time” along with your name and number in men’s rooms around town ~ 300 pts
8. Protest outside a church service with signs that deny the existence of their god ~ 1,000 pts
9. Protest outside a heterosexual wedding ~ 5,000 pts
10. Try to make out with your straight male co-workers ~ 50,000
11. Get a straight guy drunk and have gay sex with him ~ 100,000
12. Convert every straight guy you meet to the queer lifestyle ~ 250,000 pts
13. Destroy heterosexual marriage ~ 500,000 pts