13 reasons why I missed the Thursday 13 last week

It sneaks up on you like a truck in a dark alley and then ohmygodddess it’s the Thursday 13 meme once again! I missed last week and it wasn’t looking good for this week either until I realized that all I needed to post was a list of the reasons why I missed posting last week. Now if you can follow that circular logic you’re smart enough to join in on the fun over at the Thursday 13 site. Get to posting, I can’t do all the work for you!

1. I was dead ~ as luck would have it the flying spaghetti monster revived me for this week
2. I started drinking Tuesday afternoon, passed out and woke up on Friday
3. I was busy burying the bodies in the back yard
4. I was stuck in traffic on the 520 bridge and lived off of granola bars and condensation for a week
5. I was being water boarded in Guantanamo Bay
6. I was trapped in a bathroom stall with Larry Craig
7. Baby Jeebus took me up in the rapture magic and then found me unworthy and spit me back out
8. I did a pound or so of shrooms and spent the week chasing a purple bunny
9. I was playing a mad crazy fast game of Scrabulous
10. I was handcuffed to a four poster bed by a jealous master
11. I was in a long lasting three way with Colin Firth & Tyler Florence
12. I was busy inventing a new religion featuring Elmo as the savior
13. I was stalking Jason Bateman and got thrown in jail where I became Bubba’s bitch