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13 things you do not want hear on Valentine’s Day
Posted by Chris on 14 February, 2008
Valentine’s Day, a day for love and devotion and boxes of candy and bouquets of roses. Bullshit, this list is a much more accurate representation of Valentine’s Day. You may not want to hear these things, but I’m guessing some of you have at some point in the past.
Just when you think it’s safe to read a blog or two it’s the subversive Thursday 13 meme.
- I’m coming out as a lesbian and leaving you for your mother. Happy Valentine’s Day
- Happy VD, hope the medication clears it right up. Happy Valentine’s Day
- I’m pregnant, with your father’s baby. Happy Valentine’s Day
- I got you crabs for Valentine’s Day, this cream should get rid of them. Happy Valentine’s Day
- I’m a man trapped in a woman’s body, so I’m having a sex change. Happy Valentine’s Day
- I’d rather drink sewer water than go down on you again. Happy Valentine’s Day
- I’ve invited over the football team to gang bang you. Happy Valentine’s Day
- Remember that video we made of us having sex? I put it up on XTube (nsfw). Happy Valentine’s Day
- That was hot baby, you owe me $350. Happy Valentine’s Day
- I’m not in the mood, I stopped at the “old gloryhole” on the way home. Happy Valentine’s Day
- If you don’t swallow it means you don’t love me. Happy Valentine’s Day
- If you don’t let me do anal I’m leaving you. Happy Valentine’s Day
- Your brother is better in bed than you are. Happy Valentine’s Day
adamswife said
I’m sure somewhere someone is hearing at least one of these today. You made me laugh – it was supposed to be funny, wasn’t it? Happy Valentine’s Day, and thanks for visiting me.
michael said
I have not heard any of those more than once. Well except the first one. My mom is so lucky, it’s not really fair.
Comedy Plus said
Oh my. Bwahahahahahahaha. What a hoot. I can see some of these playing themselves out. Thanks for the laughs and you have a great TT and Valentine’s Day. Bwahahahahahahaha.
Karen @ Simply A Musing Blog said
OH my goodness…Your title says it all – I definitely don’t want to hear any of these…lol.
byrningbunny said
TG, there’s a few of those I can absolutely guarantee I’ll never hear! lol
beth said
Talk about ruining a perfectly good day! lol
Lewis said
What’s wrong with me being in love with momma and having crabs on VD? I don’t see anything wrong. See you Saturday! You boys got a pic of yourselves? I’m just dying here….simply DYING! Well, there is the most remote of possibilities that I have, indeed, seen you in THE PARK!
Chelle Y. said
Those would be so terrible to hear! I hope that never happened in “real life” to you!
Colleen said
pretty funny! glad I haven’t heard too many of those.
thanks for stopping by yesterday.
diamondintheruff said
Funny list, definitely true. Happy TT!
Nicholas said
Very funny TT!
Chris said
Adamswife ~ I hope it was funny, or my life is much sadder than I realized.
Michael ~ she needs to tell you her secrets.
Comedy Plus ~ thanks!
Karen ~ something would be wrong with you if you did!
Byrningbunny ~ never say never?
Beth ~ yep would put quite a damper on my day if I heard any of those.
Lewis ~ crabs on VD… wow you get around!
Chelle Y ~ well usually they only charge $300 so I guess I can say that they haven’t.
Colleen ~ thanks, good to know you haven’t heard *too* many of them
Diamondintheruff ~ thanks!
Nicholas ~ thanks!
Chrissy said
I used to keep all my cards to go back and see how much I am loved when I’m feeling down. I’m pretty sure I burned all those! LOL
Chris said
Chrissy ~ you don’t have to read old cards to know how much WE love you!